"Michelle? Its gregory burke not sure which michelle this is.."
I did not recognize the number and realized this must be someone I met when I still had my old phone, which in a freak accident, I tossed down my garbage chute. Poor thing didn't stand a chance in the compactor! Typically I never delete phone numbers so I can identify the sender of drunk texts, but I lost all my numbers in the garbage chute incident. I have received drunk text messages from this number before but have always ignored them. However, since I had already consumed a couple of glasses of wine, I decided to continue the text conversation:
"I actually don't know who u are. I am Michelle tho."
"Lol. Wow. Michelle who. Are u from NY? I'm wondering where I met you oh well I'm currently producing music. Looking for another michelle...nice to reaquaint anyway"
Whoever this guy was, it bothered me slightly that he spelled reacquaint wrong. His job certainly didn't clarify things for me. Did I get wasted, somehow acquire musical talent and impress him with my skills?
"U are actively recruiting Michelle's? Lol"
"Lol. Sure why not"
"What kind of music are u producing?"
Ignoring my question completely he wrote:
"I have three michelles, one of which is a witness in court monday"
"That's not me"
"Lol so she was the one I'm trying to locate but sure y not collect michelles...haha funny"
The "collecting Michelles" line really wasn't that funny or clever and not even close to my best material. He finally answered my question.
"Hip hop poetry looking for musicians to collaborate with Oh u like house music"
What! Where did this assumption that I like house music come from! I decided it was time to burst his bubble, plus my meal had arrived.
"I'm not very musical - I'm a freaking auditor. House music? Why u say that?"
"Oh your not a musician. That's cool. I'm just letting u know. Wasn't trying to recruit you. Lol nevermind. I thought when u said -- 'that's not me' I didn't get it - now I understand"
I was hungry so I ended things:
"About to eat dinner - lovely to meet u lol"
"I'm wondering did u audit me, lol - funnny how your number found its way in my phone. Lovely to meet you as well. Enjoy -- I'm going to eat now too."
After racking my brain for who this person could be, I remember one night last summer, when I met this cute guy at a bar on the Upper East Side called Ziggy's named Greg. He had a Yankees baseball cap on and had a nice smile, though he was admittedly a bit of a guido (it's New York, you can't avoid them!). I remember exchanging numbers and noticing a huge crack on the screen of his phone. However, I don't remember a thing about our conversation, so I cannot be sure that this is the same guy. The only conclusions I can draw from our text exchange are:
- He knows a lot of Michelles
- His spelling is not so great, though it's not really fair to judge this based on text messages
- The legitimacy of his job is in question (who produces "hip hop poetry")
- He is having legal issues and has been audited in the past
- The first 4 reasons are enough to not ever text with him again!
No comments:
Post a Comment