Shop 'Til You Drop

Yesterday, me, Frenchie, OCD and Ms. Diva decided to make the pilgrimage an hour upstate to Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, destination of shop-a-holics the world over.  We departed from the office at noon and took the subway to the Bronx to free Ms. Diva's SUV from a parking lot surrounded by barbed wire and which has a car-alarm like signal every time you step into the lot.  They also sell ice in both blocks and cubes 24 hours a day in case anyone wants to build an igloo at 3:00 am.  As soon as we piled into Diva's SUV, Frenchie uttered "Oh no" in her Frenchie accent at the realization that the back seats were  positioned at a perfect 90-degree angle.  Frenchie, dreading an hour car ride in discomfort, wrestled with the seat to get it to recline.  Ms. Diva jumped out of the driver's seat and attempted to wrangle the seat as well, while OCD grabbed the driver's manual from the glove box to figure it out.  I tried to adjust my own seat, but soon gave up and sat yogi-style.  Once we were on the road, me and Frenchie were able to eat our salads that we had purchased by the office (Diva and OCD had eaten at the office), but I was sad to discover that mine had gone soggy in the trip from the office to the Bronx and I only got through half (and I was hungry).  Meanwhile, we were all being whipped around in the car from Diva's weaving around and heavy foot on both the accelerator and brake.  "Eh, calm down" Frenchie said, fearing whiplash induced chronic back pain from both the jarring stop-and-go driving and the very erect car seat.

En route, OCD spotted a couple large dogs sitting in the back of a car.  "Awww" we all said.  OCD, stone faced, recalled that the other day she was at someone's home with her husband when an adorable pup wandered over to her and started sniffing, then to her horror, sneezed on her leg.  She described in detail how she felt the canine sneeze droplets spray onto her bare leg and I could picture her being calm on the exterior (as usual) but FREAKING out on the inside.  Her husband had pet and played with with the dog so when they got home, OCD did not allow her man to touch her or anything in their apartment until both of them had been scrubbed with anti-bacterial soap and water.

We finally made it Woodbury at around 2:00 pm and set out to do some serious damage.  We decided to split from Ms. Diva as she is a seasoned, almost maniacal shopper with a sense of style entirely dissimilar to the rest of us.  This is primarily due to Diva being of tall, long-limbed, Naomi Campbell-esque proportions and her adventurous sense of fashion.  Both Frenchie and OCD are rather conservative in their clothing choices, favoring classic pieces, though OCD with her slim, marathon in training figure sometimes surprises with some beautiful but unique pieces.  My style is trendier than Frenchie and OCD but not nearly as bold as Ms. Diva.  I'm in a weird phase, where I look young enough to pull off some of the styles I adored in my twenties, but am starting to add a bit of sophistication and polish to the mix to make it a tad more age appropriate.

We decided to meet at 5:30 pm at the food court to recharge and then do the rest of the stores together.  Pre-snack shopping went slowly, as we ducked in and out of stores trying on items ending up with only 2 small bags each by the time we reached the food court.  We were in line for the filthy bathrooms (OCD was not happy) when an insanely petite and curvy woman walked past, with a painted on t-shirt, boobs up to her chin, headlights flashing and her big round butt bouncing in her thin stretchy shorts.  This was followed by an equally petite, not nearly as buxom, older woman who growled to her companion "I don't know why you would want 'pink' on the back of you shorts with an ass that large."  I looked at the the stranger in line beside me, who's mouth was agape and died laughing.  We met Ms. Diva who was ripping through an ice cream sundae, surrounded by multiple bags, but definitely short of her usual haul. We raided the food court for high-carb, sugary snacks and then back to shopping!

The first successful store after our break was Lululemon, our favorite store for overpriced gym clothing, but at the outlet the prices were actually great.  Three out of four of us left with bags.

Our next major stop was Banana Republic and again three out of four of us left with bags.  Then we all briefly split up again, meeting up at BCBG and then moved onto Saks Off 5th.  At the end of the day I got a lot of great things!  And Ms. Diva managed to get not one, but two items with leopard print.  A skinny belt and an off the shoulder, Betsey Johnson dress with a sash at the waist, in addition to the loads of other items she scored.  While my shopping was not quite as high-end as Oprah's friend Gayle on her trip to Woodbury detailed in this article on Oprah.com (she dropped $245 alone on an Oscar de la Renta belt!), I spent a bit more than that and got the following:

• Chelsea Flower emerald green, slouchy silk blouse from Barney's Outlet
• Work appropriate, pink and deep purple floral printed, cap sleeved, silk blouse from J Crew
• Dri-fit t-shirt that says "Your Pace" on the front and "Or Mine?" on the back from Nike
• "Mindful" shorts with a thick waistband and adorable pleating on the front (in gray and black) and a non-slip headband from Lululemon  
• A tribal printed, tulip skirt and gold bracelet with a tassel from Banana Republic
• An orange, silk wrap dress from BCBG
• Large, gold framed sunglasses by Chloe from Off 5th

Any regrets?  None.  I love everything I purchased.  Ms. Diva dropped us off near the entrance to the Queen's Midtown Tunnel and even though it was almost 11:00 pm,  we were hungry not having had a proper meal all day.  Since we were in my 'hood I took Frenchie and OCD to Vezzo, a favorite of me and Giggles.  Frenchie had the chicken caesar salad, OCD the shroom pizza on nine-grain organic crust and no cheese and me the el greco pizza on the nine-grain crust with jalapenos.  OCD, not normally a pizza eater loved the cracker-thin crust, generous toppings and perfect portion size that leaves you satisfied but not stuffed.  Frenchie was happy with the salad, particularly the yummy grilled chicken and my pizza was delish as per usual.

I was exhausted and happy and fell asleep almost as soon as I got home.  Outlet shopping is like a sport and a game plan is imperative to ensure a successful trip.  You need to time the trip correctly to get good sales and selection, hit all your key stores and stay on budget!  But despite the insanity of shuffling from store to store tripping over foreign shoppers bickering excitedly in their respective languages and hauling huge suitcases full of treasures,  the trip is about serious girl bonding time.  We encourage each other to try on something new, find things that each other might like, compliment each other in our dressing room  fashion shows and laugh when things just look all wrong!  I need to make another trip in the fall to update the cold weather wardrobe, but I need to let my bank account recover a little first.