New York, You're Not Much Better...

My last post was a bit unfair to the state of New Jersey so I decided to see if there are comparable establishments in the state of New York.  A quick Google search for "adult motels nyc" turned up some real winners, as well as the The Benedict Motel in Linden, NJ again!

First on the list is the Commack Motor Inn in lovely Commack, NY (see this hooker haven here).  A mere hour on the Long Island Railroad from Penn Station will get you to this pleasure palace where all beds are "triple-sheeted", an expanded X-rated video library is at your disposal and local calls are free!  However, there is a $200 cleaning fee charged if you smoke in the room and no pets are allowed on the premises, so all post-coital cigarettes will have to be had outside in the parking lot and that no pet rule was likely instated as a result of some previous horrific incident.  For a mere $35 for three hours, you too can feel like you were magically transported back to some 70's swingers den.  Note:  Triple-sheeting sounds like some kind of protective measure to shield the occupant of the bed from the well-used, bed bug infested mattress but actually just refers to the usual bottom sheet and icky blanket sandwiched between two flat sheets setup found at most cheap motels/hotels.  Next up, The Hollywood Motel in Farmingdale, NY (also Long Island) for slightly (and I mean slightly) more luxurious accommodations AND fabulous "fantasy rooms" to set the scene for seduction (see it here).  The Exotic Dancer Room features black vinyl padded walls and a stripper pole with a stage!  But the special promotions are quite the deal!  If you choose to celebrate your birthday at The Hollywood, you will receive a "special surprise gift".  Sounds like fun so long as it's "surprise here's a free cake!" and not "surprise you have gonorrhea!"  Also, there's a 10% discount if you bring in a current date movie ticket.  I've heard of dinner and a movie date nights but not so much dinner, a movie and then getting pawed among the "steamy jungle decor" of The Cheetah Room.

Finally, if you're looking for a place sans all the bells and whistles to get it on, Time Out New York has compiled a list of the best no-tell motels in and around the city (see the list here).  La Semana actually looks tolerable, but a walk of shame out of the Days Inn Brooklyn?  Only if the bed is triple-sheeted.