In early August, I decided to actually use my subscription to Match.com and agreed to go on a date with some guy named Steve that lives in Long Island City that had recently moved from Atlanta. I signed up for Match in January, perhaps out of some post-New Years guilt over not really establishing any resolutions. However all my work trips in the first half of the year made Match not so much a tool to find potential dates, but more like entertainment in my hotel room at night when overseas, reading all the insane messages I received. I had exchanged numerous emails with only two guys and ended up meeting up with one of them who I saw over the summer - but that all ended rather abruptly (story for another day). This time out I decided to forgo all my usual extensive screening over email and phone and skipped right to meeting up not knowing basic things like what he did for a living. He looked handsome in his photos and his write-up indicated he had a similar energy to mine so I decided to just go for it. We settled on Lillie's in Union Square to meet up, since it's a central location and is generally busy on weekdays. I walked in, still in my work clothes - a short-sleeved violet dress with a beige and white polka dotted belt and flip-flops (I refuse to walk more than 3 blocks in heels) - and texted Steve from the front of the bar - "Don't see u I'm at the front." Through the crowd, I saw a dude get off a bar stool and start walking towards me. He did not look a thing like his pictures, which in retrospect must have been at least 5 years old. His age was listed as 36, but he had a dark leathery tan and considerable sun damage evidenced by the creases around his blue eyes. His hair was brown and wavy, but was in desperate need of a trim and some type of styling product. And he wore dark rinse baggy Levis, a black t-shirt and black and white, clunky looking skater kid sneakers. He did have a nice smile and gave me a good hug. We sat at the bar and talked over beers about his job (construction worker), his accent (born and raised in California and then moved to Georgia), online dating experiences (we agreed people are freaks) and just stuff in general. What I gathered from our conversation was he's a nice guy, but not for me.
Steve was craving ice cream so I accompanied him on a search for a Mr. Softie truck. We were strolling through Union Square, when a man ran after me yelling "Hey. We stopped and my first thought was that we ran out on our bill, but he pulled me aside and told me he was a casting agent trying to find people for a segment for the Today Show and asked me "Do you know who Nina Garcia is?" Of course I did being a fashion magazine addict and reality show aficionado. He explained that they were doing a makeovers at the new Target in Harlem and thought that I would be perfect. "Am I dressed that badly!" I exclaimed, kind of shocked since I do pay attention to my clothing. But he eased my fears of being an example of what not to wear and said they wanted to demonstrate that "Even New York women can integrate Target items into their wardrobes." I was psyched since it paid $2,000 for a couple hours of work, but I soon realized I was going to be out of town during the filming dates. "Too bad, you're adorable!" the guy said. Steve looked at me with a mischievous grin, finding the whole thing very amusing, while I was disappointed that I was not approached by a casting director in front of a dude I was actually interested in! Anyways, after Steve got his ice cream, we went our separate ways and he said "We should do this again" before running down the steps to the subway. He called the next day and I let it go to voicemail and I didn't call him back, thinking I had no obligation to provide a detailed explanation for my rejection after meeting for only few hours. The "fade out" is very effective in these situations when it's only been a casual meeting or two, but you're looking for serious retaliation if this is attempted after months of dating.
Usually people get the point if you don't call back after a first date, but then yesterday afternoon Steve texted me "Hey how are you. What you up to this weekend?" Conveniently I am leaving for a three week work trip this weekend and informed him of this in my reply - he didn't respond. I'm not sure what I would have done if I didn't have this excuse. Pretended that I'm busy for the rest of my life (too obviously a lie)? Told him that I just don't see it happening (too mean)? I suppose I would have just not responded and continued the fade out, setting myself up for karmic repercussions. Thankfully - I didn't have to go there.
UPDATE: He responded "Have fun call me when you get back" - WTF! It's always the ones that you don't want....
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