Today, after brunch at Tarallucci E Vino with Stamps and Giggles, something truly miraculous occurred - I bought a pair of amazing knee-high black leather boots that amazingly zip over my calves! To appreciate the significance of this event, I must provide some history.
Ever since I was a kid, I have had massive, athletic calves. There's this photo of me at my parents house on Games Day at my school - I'm 8 years old, dressed in my gym uniform, sprinting across the grass with a red ball in my tiny hands and a huge grin on my face. When I look at the picture all I should notice is this perfect memory of childhood innocence, BUT all I can see are my calf muscles rippling mid-stride like an NFL running back. In middle school, a classmate gave me the delightful little nickname of "Schwarzenegger legs" which (obviously) completely sucked, so I retaliated by making fun of the size of his disproportionately large head (he eventually grew into it). However, after enduring years of teasing and meatheads stopping me at the gym to ask what I do to get my calves this way, I reached a point somewhere in adulthood where I actually appreciate my legs and like the way they look in a pair of heels. The one thing that has really bothered me are certain fashion limitations I have - for example, no ankle straps on shoes, no awkward skirt lengths, no super skinny jeans and no knee-high boots. I was always fine without the straps, 3/4 skirts and jeans with teeny leg openings, but I have ALWAYS envied girls that can wear the boots. From the clunky, square-toe boots from Aldo my girls used to wear to go out back in the day to the sleek, soft leather boots my friends wear today - how I coveted a pair of my very own. And I have tried repeatedly to find a pair, wrestling with all kind of boots of various styles and fabrications in shoe stores the world over, only to have them zip/go up about half way. A couple years ago, as a result of the slouchy boot trend, I was able to get a pair of boots and a year after that I learned that I could get boots stretched and bought another pair. And while I like both pairs, I don't LOVE them - purchasing them more because they worked on my legs.
After brunch, me and Giggles walked over to the DSW in Union Square as I had received a $10 gift certificate in the mail and wanted to check out the goods. The place was CROWDED, bustling with women tearing up the place looking for a bargain. I wandered around, not looking for anything in particular, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a beautiful pair of tall, black leather boots with silver zipper and buckle details. I was about to keep walking but upon a second glance, there appeared to be a lot of calf room. So I grabbed a box and found a quiet place in the corner to try them on - crap, they didn't quite zip up over my leggings. Giggles, a frequent boot wearer herself, came over and was convinced they would zip - so, I tried again to no avail. I still LOVED them and they were 40% off and I had the coupon ($137 total - sweet), so I got them anyways with plans to have them stretched. When I got home, I pulled my new boots out of the box to admire them and decided to give them another try. This time I sat on the floor, with my legs extended in front of me, instead of standing balanced on one leg like I did at the store. Sitting this way, my calf muscles relaxed and to my surprise, they boots easily zipped up! I was ecstatic and texted Giggles immediately, who shared in my boot joy! I feel I need to thank some people - Michael Kors (or somebody who works over there), for making a pair of boots seemingly perfect for me and to DSW for discounting them to the point where I can afford them and my rent too. A shoe store miracle indeed.
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